Dear Thyroid,

Tomorrow we have yet another blood test and a little added treat: an HPV shot! Joy.But that's unimportant. You don't feel joy.

I can tell. I can tell that emotions aren't really your zone. You just like pretending that you have emotions, dipping your fingers into my emotions so you can see me squirm with discomfort, cry over the stupidest things, or laugh at all the jokes that aren't even funny.

I just wanted to let you know that yesterday I was looking at pictures. They were of the family trips that we took earlier, back at the beginning of high school. There are pictures of me from all over Lithuania. I looked so happy, and, as I recall, that was an amazing trip. I just saw several pictures of me, wearing sweatshirts and looking completely comfortable. You might be thinking, "sweatshirts are supposed to be comfortable, why would it be any different?" I'll tell you why.

Because since you've grown up, and out, expanding the circumference of my neck, sweatshirts have strangled me. I cut a slit down the front of the thing, so you'll have more room to breathe. I looked so happy in these pictures, with sweatshirts uncut, and space to spare.

That doesn't mean I hate you. I still have to live with you. But would you mind loosening your grip on my life?


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