Dear Thyroid;

Tomorrow is a big day for us. We're going to meet with Dr. Braunstein for a day of tests, tests and more tests.

Oh joy. Katie, stop being negative. Okay.

For those just tuning in, out of insurmountable frustration and a burning desire to give up, a last ditch effort, a bit of research, really, yielded a discovery -- DBraun. After emailing him my thyroid chronicle, medical mistreatment to the tenth power and topping it off with; "If you truly believe in healing, collaboration with a patient and think you can heal me, not just treat me, I look forward to hearing back".

I did.

I'm not hopeful. I'm open. I've been experiencing hypothyroid symptoms for months and hyperthyroid symptoms for the past six-weeks. The Graves' disease-ee mental kind: paranoia, anxiety, depression and anger -- go me -- The hypo mental symptoms are forgetfulness and an inability to wrap my head around anything. All of this translates to extreme difficulty writing and functioning. Physically, I feel like a 60-year-old. If I was 60, I wouldn't be the slightest bit blue. Being in my thirties, I am. Blue, I mean.

I'm terrified he'll find more issues. I'm open to the possibility that he'll get to the root problem and fix it. My thirties, so far, have been consumed by my thyroid, loss and sadness. I didn't die, so I am grateful, of course. Hello. I have a pulse. What's bad? I don't have a life, though. I want my life back. I want to look and feel like me again, and I don't.

Okay, Schwartzy, enough with the kvetchfest.

I'll keep ya's posted.

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