IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED...

Wednesday was a swell day.

No, really, it was.... until I got to the doctors office, and found out due to the size of my tumour, the level of my cancer, my age, blah blah blah.... a follow up ablation is necessary.

I was taken off my meds immediately. Good-bye lovely synthyroid!! No more help from you!! Good-bye shrimp and other things I love with iodine in them! It's not FAIR!!

I did this once, why again??

This time, it'll be worse. Why? Because I KNOW what will happen. I know I'll get weaker and weaker (faster this time, since there is no residual thyroid in my body to keep me going), my bones will ache and be cold, I won't be able to stand the touch of cloth on my body, I'll itch, I will be SO weak.

Then, the joy of the nuclear meds, when I'll hallucinate, sweat, have to take a zillion showers a day, and that's the fun part!! I've a body scan and a brain scan (no, Katie, I did NOT deliver that as a straight line to you! Ahahaha!!)

I plan on keeping my running diary here, so I can come back and look at how it all went.

I'm already itching like mad, and am up at this hour to change my sheets. It's either the beginning of my symptoms or I've got fleas.

I'm in hopes it's the fleas.

5 Comments:

OpenID NeedleDancer said...

ARGH!
Thanks for sharing all of this with us. I hope that venting it out/sharing it eases at least some of the mental anguish.
And know, that as we read, we're sending support and prayers and positive energy according to our beliefs... all in the hopes of making it easier on you, and more successful.

December 12, 2008 at 5:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So sorry for all the suffering you have now.

As for the need to be off meds...is it not possible to support you with a little Cytomel while you wean off your synthroid?

Cytomel (synthetic T3) is out of your system in 24 hours and could help with symptoms while you await ablation...

Best...

December 14, 2008 at 8:44 AM  
Blogger Quin Browne said...

my docs won't allow anything in my system...so, i'm cold and achy and tired already.

i appreciate the kind words and good wishes... it helps a ton!

December 14, 2008 at 9:55 PM  
Blogger Katie Schwartz said...

My sweet Quinny, I am so sorry that you have to go through this again. It's not fucking fair, you're right.

You are not alone. We are here to catch you. Vent. Share everything.

If you need anything, anything at all, my dear, you must let me know.

Fuck.Fuck.Fuck.

I am SO SORRY!

December 17, 2008 at 8:18 AM  
Blogger Freida of the Bees said...

Oh Quin.

Please tell us how you are.

My love your way and oodles of blankets.

December 17, 2008 at 8:27 AM  

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