Dear Thyroid - OMG Why did I wait so long!!

Dear Thyroid,

What the fuck did I ever do to you? You are a sneaky little bastard, sneaking up on me like this. Today's visit was the first step, damn you.

Tomorrow we will take our asses to the lab, and eventually be told what we already know. Mom's got it, Mom's Mom's got it, and thanks to those good ol' hereditary genes, yup, so do we. Hypothyroidism. Why did I wait so long to do this?

I know why, Im just angry at myself for letting it go this long.

I'm 30 for Pete's sake! I'm damn near friggin bald, and what's left of my hair is speckled with gray! I'm suffocating my poor daughter with the thermostat set on 80, I'm a total friggin bitch, my skin is so dry and flaky I feel like pigpen walking around with a cloud of dry skin and hair around me. Its disgusting, and I hate you.

I used to be pretty and feel sexy dammit! I dieted and lost 50 friggin pounds and felt so great!

Sure, you were still torturing me, but slowly, so I couldn't notice what you were up to. Then WHAM!

Lucky for us, that wonderful sexy ass man we are dating hasn't dropped our crazy ass yet, but I get the feeling he's getting a little tired of being pushed away after doing it like rabbits for 6 years. Still wondering why he hasn't proposed after all this time, my dear thyroid??? HELLO - we've been a raging friggin lunatic the last year and half! I bet it didn't help!

So here it is, I'm giving you fair warning right now. Today's visit to Dr. Atkin was my way of telling you its on pal! It's not going to be easy, I know, but I want my hair back, I want my energy back, I want my sex drive and dammit I want my life back!

And I'm going to get it. You watch me.

Damn you for doing this to me right when everything else was so perfect. HELLO!?!? - weren't you there between the ages of 14-25??? Life was a NIGHTMARE! You wait until I've finally straightened everything out and I'm happier than ever to spring this shit on me? Real fuckin nice.


Yours Truly,

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Blogger Utah Savage said...

This is the best hate letter I've ever read by a thyroid. This thyroid lived through hell and now finally when things were just getting fun, WTF? Life can be so harsh sometimes.

December 7, 2008 at 5:33 PM  
Blogger Eebie said...

I hear ya, girlfriend. Let it out, get it out so you can get back to being you and all the love ya got inside ya.

December 7, 2008 at 8:00 PM  
Blogger Katie Schwartz said...

I agree with Savage Diva and Eebs. Get it out, girl!

I am so sorry that you're going through so much with your thyroid. I am so damn proud of you for controlling it instead of allowing it to control you.

You're kind of amazing, toots.

Good luck and keep those letters coming.


December 8, 2008 at 8:59 PM  
Blogger FranIAm said...

I stand in awe - speak your truth sister, speak it loud.

I hope that you can hear the applause from here. Take back your life.

December 9, 2008 at 7:13 AM  
Blogger Freida of the Bees said...

(OMG- What took me so long to comment? Oh yeah, my fuckernet's been out.)

Melissa, You Rock! It's so weird how being hyperthyroid all the years I was caused so may of the same issues, but in different ways. I was a manic bitch with an overactive libido who had a dear loveguy trying to do his best, but feeling really abused and I can't blame him.

I got it hereditarily too (and surely, environmentally as well).

Now, I feel (am) fat though my blood tests are normal, and even that more sophisticated test says it's all normal too. I was skinny for years while eating like a horse and sometimes I miss it, but the mania... not so much.

I guess I need to write a new letter. Thanks for sharing and tell us how kickin' some T-Butt goes!

December 9, 2008 at 12:39 PM  
Blogger Madam Z said...

Hey Melissa, I feel your pain, really I do. But, I'm pretty sure you'll find out (or have found out already) that hypothyroid is a lot easier to treat than hyper-thyroid. All you have to do is take a thyroid hormone supplement, and you should be good as new within a couple of months. Well, maybe not "new," but certainly a hell of a lot better than you are now. All those dreadful symptoms you are experiencing is just a consequence of that bad ol' thyroid not pumping out the throxin you need. So screw that bad boy! You can get what you need from the pharmacy.

I wish you well, and soon!

December 11, 2008 at 4:00 PM  
Blogger quin browne said...

give a bitch smack down.

set your jaw and take it on... we've got your back.

December 21, 2008 at 8:17 PM  

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